meet katrina + jason. rather than tell you about them - - i'd rather have you meet them.
a note from katrina:
An Open Letter to Future Mothers
by Katrina Fine
When dreaming about the future, expectations begin to form. A plan to get married at 25, have kids by 30, and retire at 65. Give or take a few years, change up the order - either way you're going to develop expectations. I remember my sister saying 'you can't always plan your life'. At the time, I didn't understand, or believe her.
I married my dream-man at age 25. At 28 we were ready to start a family. And for certain, we were going to retire at 65.
As it turns out - - you cannot always plan out your life. It's not entirely your plan. It's God's plan. Sure, you can fight for your plan - but in the end it's out of your control. That's what I've learned over the past 3 years of trying to get pregnant. As months turned into years of trying and being disappointed; I was quickly losing sight of my plan.
My experience, when things are meant to be -- they will be.
When in the process of getting pregnant people would say, "just relax".
But.. how can you relax when it hasn't been working and you have certain expectations in place? 'It was supposed to happen months ago, years ago....what if it never happens? What if I never get to experience carrying a child and the beauty of giving birth to something created by the love between my husband and I.'
Being diagnosed with infertility feels like a roller coaster. You're trying to be hopeful and positive each month because each month is a new chance. But you don't want to get your hopes up too high because there's an even bigger chance it won't happen. As we got more aggressive with our treatments, it became even worse. It caused physical and emotional pain and consumed my every thought. It even led me to question my self worth.
But we decided to never stop fighting. This was something we believed in.
Throughout our journey we developed new definitions for words like: hope, faith, & support system. These words drove our determination.
Hope is not always a feeling that comes easy and takes a lot of convincing.
But that is when I believe you allow yourself the possibility to get through it. Faith is about trusting in God and putting it in his hands. His plan for you is far better than you could ever imagine. I am finding that you have to have a lot of patience and trust, and that it will unfold as it is meant to be.
And a support system is not venting to your sister or crying on the phone to your mom. It's deeper - richer than that. It's strengthening your marriage and deepening relationships with friends and family.
If you are facing infertility or can relate to our journey with your own struggles, I encourage you to find your own definitions of words that will help pull you through. Repeat what they mean to you in moments of hopelessness. Talk with your friends and family about what you're going through. Truth is, everyone has something going on -- a story. We all need to stick together, inspire one another, and not let each other set uncontrollable expectations. You can't plan-out your life but eventually the plan for your life will unfold...and it's a beautiful one.
Peace, love, and fertile thoughts.